If you are looking for a master class in leadership skills or just a television program that has all the feels, give Ted Lasso on Apple TV+ a try. In Season 1, Episode 2 (“Biscuits”), I heard – as did millions of other viewers – a reference that has stayed with me. Ted says the happiest animal on earth is a goldfish, because they only have a 10-second memory. So, be a goldfish.
As a soccer coach, one of Ted’s players made a mistake in a game. I think there are 3 reasons Ted wanted his player to be a goldfish.
Reason #1: If the player dwelt too long on what happened, he would have been stuck in a negative mindset. Ruminating on a negative situation has a strong psychological impact. It can become repetitive and slip into a habitual thinking pattern. Reflection is one thing, but brooding is another. Dwelling on negativity deepens the state of unhappiness and increases other feelings, like helplessness, frustration, and self-blame. It can also have a physical impact, as studies show rumination raises cortisol levels, signifying physical response to stress.
Reason #2: The player’s negativity might have spread to others on the team, impacting the team’s culture and performance. Negativity is contagious, as is stress. So, be careful rehashing a situation to death with friends. Co-ruminating is when you regurgitate the same negativity over and over again with others, reliving the moment again and again. Share your situation with a friend once, and then both goldfishes get to swim on together.
Reason #3: Dwelling gets in the way of productive behavior. It increases physical and mental fatigue, something of which most of us don’t have a surplus. It also soaks up all kinds of time, another resource we all seem to lack. Rumination blocks action. You cannot swim forward effectively if you’re looking back. Rumination also impairs problem-solving and promotes avoidance.
You made a mistake on the board. Okay. Think about it. Identify what you can do differently next time. Apologize if needed, then be a goldfish, and swim forward.
You hate a certain family situation. Okay. You have three choices. Change it; accept it; or leave it. Make your choice. Now that your choice is made, swim on.
You disagree with a friend. Okay. Quickly identify why you disagree with them. Make sure it’s about the issue, not the individual. There’s nothing more to do now except swim.
Someone offended you. Okay. Take a moment with your feelings. Use that time to improve your emotional intelligence and self-monitor how you treat others. Don’t think about it again. If you were a goldfish, you would have already forgotten.
With the “goldfish” lesson, Ted Lasso reminds us that time is precious. And we are in charge of how we spend our time. Do you want to dwell too long on something that has already happened? I want to keep swimming, with a short memory and a smile, and see what happens next! If you have questions, or need help navigating a difficult situation on your board, feel free to contact an Altitude attorney at 303-432-9999 or at [email protected].